Peer Response: Essay 2

Your comments and suggestions are not restricted to these numbered items: if other ideas for improving the paper occur to you, share them.  Feel free to mark on the draft, but write your response to the questions below on separate paper.  Give your response to the paper's author so that he or she can review your suggestions and turn in your response with his or her paper.  And in a tactful way, be mean!  Be critical!

1. After reading it through a first time, state your initial impression of the paper.  Consider especially whether the paper addresses the assigned topic effectively.

2. Evaluate the introduction and make suggestions for improvement. Consider:

  • Is the intro a fully developed paragraph?  Too brief?  Suggest how the intro could be developed more effectively: make your suggestions specific.
  • Any places where the intro is choppy?  Suggest transitions where needed.
  • Consider whether the paragraph flows smoothly into the intro question.  Suggest improvements for leading into the question.
  • Suggest improvements in the intro question itself.  Does it address the assigned topic?  Does it set up the issue or topic that the body of the paper addresses?
  • 3. If the paper presents an argument between more than one viewpoint, is the opposing viewpoint addressed fairly and completely?  Suggest specific improvements that would strengthen the effectiveness of the opposing view.

    4. Identify the topic sentence of each body paragraph and underline it on the draft itself—also underline the paper's thesis, which should be in the conclusion.  If there is no obvious topic sentence in any body paragraph, or a thesis in the conclusion, suggest one in each case.  Make suggestions for improving existing topic sentences and thesis statements—note that each of these sentences should answer the intro question squarely and directly (see in-class exercise 2).

    5. Point out paragraphs that seem too brief or undeveloped.  Make specific suggestions for improving underdeveloped paragraphs.  Also point out "busy" or overly long paragraphs that make more than one major point—indicate where the author should break these paragraphs into smaller units so that each paragraph presents only one main point.

    6. Identify places where the author needs to explain a specific point in more detail.  Identify places where the paper needs more evidence or illustration to make points more effective.  Offer specific suggestions.

    7. Suggest improvements in the author's use of quotations. Too many quotes?  Too few?  Suggest specific articles or passages that the author might quote to illustrate the paper's primary assertions more effectively.  Suggest improvements in the introduction of quotes (Nugget 3).

    8. Indicate any words that strike you as awkward; indicate any words you think the author may be using incorrectly.

    9. Grammar and mechanics—especially "simple stuff," golden rules and nuggets, quotes and documentation, and "word problems."  Be especially on the lookout for problems with the literary present tense (Nugget 2) and "major errors" (verb problems, GR3 (they), GR5 (fragments), and GR6 and GR7 (run-on sentences: fused sentences and comma splices).

    10. Say what grade you think the paper deserves and explain why.